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Worst Times

by Total Recall (FIN)

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1.
Worst Times 00:58
a shot of whiskey a shot to the head why care if i die when i'm already dead? it's hard to survive without a heart you ripped mine apart and left me out (with the waste) in the dark at nights like these i can't sleep and every night is just like this i try to tell myself that it's not so bad but these are the worst times i've ever had too much coffee too many beers just sitting home alone with my hopes, thoughts and fears too much whiskey too many dreams leaves fall from their trees and i think of you and me at nights like these i can't sleep and every night is just like this i try to tell myself that it's not so bad but these are the worst times i've ever had desperate and true depressed and blue.
2.
Bleed 01:30
let's just make this one thing clear i'm not looking for anything real not a companion, not a wife just something to get by you're not her not even close and i'm sorry for i can't let you close kiss me my lips feel nothing put your tongue in my mouth i taste nothing put your arms around me and make me feel i need the touch i wanna feel your touch 'cause i'm turning numb i'm turning so cold so scared that i'll be alone when i'm old i want you to take this knife and stab it through my tired heart make it bleed all the bad blood out and let the good blood in let the new blood in make me bleed make me feel i need to bleed i need to feel.
3.
Rain Check 01:47
here i lie in someone's bed hung over thinking of you i wish i could see the end of this tunnel some light ahead when will this end? but you refuse to meet you don't want to see me you have other things there's always someone else to see but not me here i lay with you in my head do you want me to leave or will i stay? i wish you could see that everything i did i did for you i did for you and me we used to be so close, ear to ear now it's just so hard to get you here i'd like to speak my mind but you refuse to hear me out never mind... ...never mind about me you can always take a rain check on me.
4.
i'm tired of being tired so sick of being sick all the time too jaded to cry i'm so fed up with being down all the time you sucked all the life out of me now i'm just a hollow ghost of who i used to be my fears they all came so true my tears they mean nothing to you i'm not angry i'm mad 'cause everything we ever had is gone and so am i i'm so far lost, i don't know where to belong anymore and you know, i heard about you and him you had your paris i had some one night's dream now your name makes me sick and insane i am done with love i replaced it with hate my fears they all came so true my tears they mean nothing to you my days are filled with shame and regret my rage is all i got left fuck you fuck me fuck us fuck everyone.
5.
Joyful Son 03:04
21 years ago a joyful son was born in front of him he had a grave new world countless stories untold but little did he know that when the curtain unfolds the world would strike him down that it would make him feel so bad that it would take his life and turn it upside down that it would leave him with nothing it wouldn't give him a thing leave him in apathy all alone in his agony in his childhood memories the world seemed much brighter and in his childhood dreams adult life much lighter with no money, with no home with no future, with no hope he wrote a letter and this is what it said: "mother, father sister, brother the joyful son is turning into a sad one you see, the life he's had it can make a good man turn bad" he hates this world and he wants it to die he hates its people and he wants them to die but most of all he hates himself.
6.
through all the good and bad i wanted to be your man and i was looking for a ring that would suit your hand you were the best thing i ever had (the best thing i'll ever have) but we got lost and you found yourself holding someone else's hand and now i can't handle anything 'cause you were my everything your eyes lost their innocence our actions lost their sense we lost ourselves i wish there was an on/off switch for feelings 'cause then i could just turn you off 'cause i would just turn you off i would if i could but i can't so i am damned to love you from as far as i can everything fell apart now, everything falls apart.
7.
Forever 17 02:37
so young so true so much to do so much to prove it was us against them we were so angry for the ones who didn't care we took it to heart what ray said some turned vegan some claimed edge we were the ones who had to make a change do you know the line about the boys and their faces? it's sad, but true we can become strangers one life one crew we all know it ain't true and as much as we hate it people change and people grow and growing up means giving up and letting go so just let it go would it be great if we stayed the same? i know it wouldn't and you feel the same it's such a shame that we can't be forever 17.
8.
Dear Father 02:27
i was around ten when you moved away ever since then nothing's been the same listen to me, you're not a bad man but there are a few things i'd like to say to you, dad when i was growing up you were never there i had a father who had business elsewhere your time was all we needed it would have been enough you married a woman not your job and you work and you work and you work and you work but can't you see? that's not how it works your kids grew up your wife had enough now she lives with someone else and everything's messed up (and that's not how it was supposed to go) when i was growing up you were never there i had a father who lived elsewhere good intentions turned out all wrong love won't survive if you're never home. that's not how it was supposed to go.
9.
i was a child i was a fool i tried to drown myself to a liquor-filled pool and to be honest it wasn't fair for you self-destruction is just too cruel His Eyes Aren't Recognizing The Sun, anymore yet your ears aren't realizing the scars deep down inside i need to show you that i can be better than this i need to show myself that i'm better than this so, for you i put the bottle down and for me i'll find some other way out i may be scarred with memories but my wounds will heal i'm getting back up and i'm coming out stronger than i have ever been.
10.
Wild Roses 03:10
if home is where the heart is i'm without a home i lost it somewhere down the road this city is ruined by the ghosts who come along when i'm alone i have always been a boy who wants to be free and at this point this city is killing me to put it short, i need to find that heart find myself find my kind 'cause all i feel is the need to go i need to be where the wild roses grow amongst the outsiders just like me who feel like the air of their hometown is too heavy to breathe i know you don't approve all the things i have done or do but try to understand this is my way and i wouldn't have it any other way you've always had strong emotions of who you think i should be but how often do you ask how i feel? 'cause all i feel is the need to go i need to be where the wild roses grow amongst the outsiders just like me who feel like the air of their hometown is just too heavy to breathe dear mother i hope you understand i may have not been the boy you wanted me to be but as a man i try to become the best i can and i hope you understand try to understand my life my choices my life my mistakes.

credits

released October 12, 2015

Music by Total Recall. Lyrics by Juska Kuhanen. Recorded in Helsinki on October 2014 by Lauri Ehrlund. Mixed by Lauri Ehrlund. Mastered by Heikki Hyvänen. Cover art by Onni Hyöty.

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Total Recall (FIN) Finland

Hardcore punk from Jyväskylä, Finland. Started out with straight-forward old school hardcore, ended up with something else.

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