Worst Times

by Total Recall (FIN)

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1.
00:58
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01:30
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01:47
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03:04
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02:37
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02:27
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03:10

credits

released October 12, 2015

Music by Total Recall. Lyrics by Juska Kuhanen. Recorded in Helsinki on October 2014 by Lauri Ehrlund. Mixed by Lauri Ehrlund. Mastered by Heikki Hyvänen. Cover art by Onni Hyöty.

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about

Total Recall (FIN) Finland

Hardcore punk from Jyväskylä, Finland. Been doing this for a couple of years now. Started out with straight-forward old school hardcore, got bored with that, so we decided to make something different, something that would interest and challenge us more as musicians. Now we're all about the freedom of expression, letting go of our boundaries and expressing ourselves at the fullest. ... more

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Track Name: Worst Times
a shot of whiskey
a shot to the head
why care if i die
when i'm already dead?
it's hard to survive
without a heart
you ripped mine apart
and left me out (with the waste)
in the dark

at nights like these
i can't sleep
and every night
is just like this
i try to tell myself
that it's not so bad
but these are the worst times
i've ever had

too much coffee
too many beers
just sitting home alone
with my hopes, thoughts and fears
too much whiskey
too many dreams
leaves fall from their trees
and i think of you and me

at nights like these
i can't sleep
and every night
is just like this
i try to tell myself
that it's not so bad
but these are the worst times
i've ever had

desperate and true
depressed and blue.
Track Name: Bleed
let's just make this one thing clear
i'm not looking for anything real
not a companion, not a wife
just something to get by

you're not her
not even close
and i'm sorry
for i can't let you close

kiss me
my lips feel nothing
put your tongue in my mouth
i taste nothing
put your arms around me
and make me feel
i need the touch
i wanna feel your touch

'cause i'm turning numb
i'm turning so cold
so scared that i'll be
alone when i'm old

i want you to take this knife
and stab it through my tired heart
make it bleed all the bad blood out
and let the good blood in
let the new blood in

make me bleed
make me feel
i need to bleed
i need to feel.
Track Name: Rain Check
here i lie
in someone's bed
hung over
thinking of you

i wish i could see
the end of this tunnel
some light ahead
when will this end?

but you refuse to meet
you don't want to see me
you have other things
there's always someone else to see
but not me

here i lay
with you in my head
do you want me to leave
or will i stay?
i wish you could see
that everything i did
i did for you
i did for you and me

we used to be so close, ear to ear
now it's just so hard to get you here
i'd like to speak my mind
but you refuse to hear me out
never mind...

...never mind about me
you can always take a rain check on me.
Track Name: Fuck What Paris Stands For
i'm tired
of being tired
so sick
of being sick all the time
too jaded to cry
i'm so fed up with being down all the time
you sucked all the life out of me
now i'm just a hollow ghost
of who i used to be

my fears
they all came so true
my tears
they mean nothing to you

i'm not angry
i'm mad
'cause everything we ever had
is gone
and so am i
i'm so far lost, i don't know where to belong
anymore

and you know, i heard about
you and him
you had your paris
i had some one night's dream
now your name
makes me sick and insane
i am done with love
i replaced it with hate

my fears
they all came so true
my tears
they mean nothing to you
my days
are filled with shame and regret
my rage
is all i got left

fuck you
fuck me
fuck us
fuck everyone.
Track Name: Joyful Son
21 years ago
a joyful son was born
in front of him he had
a grave new world
countless stories untold
but little did he know

that when the curtain unfolds

the world would strike him down
that it would make him feel so bad
that it would take his life
and turn it upside down
that it would leave him with nothing
it wouldn't give him a thing
leave him in apathy
all alone in his agony

in his childhood memories
the world seemed much brighter
and in his childhood dreams
adult life much lighter
with no money, with no home
with no future, with no hope
he wrote a letter
and this is what it said:

"mother, father
sister, brother
the joyful son
is turning into a sad one
you see, the life he's had
it can make a good man turn bad"

he hates this world
and he wants it to die
he hates its people
and he wants them to die

but most of all
he hates himself.
Track Name: Everything Falls Apart
through all the good and bad
i wanted to be your man
and i was looking for a ring
that would suit your hand
you were the best thing i ever had
(the best thing i'll ever have)
but we got lost
and you found yourself
holding someone else's hand

and now i can't handle anything
'cause you were my everything

your eyes
lost their innocence
our actions lost their sense
we lost ourselves
i wish there was an on/off switch
for feelings
'cause then i could just turn you off
'cause i would just turn you off

i would if i could
but i can't so i am
damned to love you
from as far as i can

everything fell apart
now, everything
falls apart.
Track Name: Forever 17
so young
so true
so much to do
so much to prove
it was us
against them
we were so angry for the ones
who didn't care
we took it to heart
what ray said
some turned vegan
some claimed edge
we were the ones
who had to
make a change

do you know the line
about the boys
and their faces?
it's sad, but true
we can become strangers
one life
one crew
we all know
it ain't true
and as much as we hate it
people change
and people grow

and growing up means
giving up
and letting go
so just let it go

would it be great if we stayed the same?
i know it wouldn't
and you feel the same
it's such a shame
that we can't be
forever 17.
Track Name: Dear Father
i was around ten
when you moved away
ever since then
nothing's been the same
listen to me, you're not a bad man
but there are a few things
i'd like to say to you, dad

when i was growing up
you were never there
i had a father
who had business elsewhere
your time was all we needed
it would have been enough
you married a woman
not your job

and you work
and you work and you work
and you work
but can't you see?
that's not how it works
your kids grew up
your wife had enough
now she lives with someone else
and everything's messed up

(and that's not how it was supposed to go)

when i was growing up
you were never there
i had a father
who lived elsewhere
good intentions
turned out all wrong
love won't survive
if you're never home.

that's not how it was supposed to go.
Track Name: From the Bottom of the Bottle
i was a child
i was a fool
i tried to drown myself
to a liquor-filled pool
and to be honest
it wasn't fair for you
self-destruction
is just too cruel

His
Eyes
Aren't
Recognizing
The
Sun, anymore

yet your ears aren't
realizing the scars
deep down inside

i need to show you
that i can be better than this
i need to show myself
that i'm better than this
so, for you i put the bottle down
and for me
i'll find some other way out

i may be scarred
with memories
but my wounds will heal
i'm getting back up
and i'm coming out
stronger than i have ever been.
Track Name: Wild Roses
if home is where the heart is
i'm without a home
i lost it somewhere
down the road
this city is ruined
by the ghosts
who come along when i'm alone
i have always been a boy
who wants to be free
and at this point
this city is killing me
to put it short, i need to find that heart
find myself
find my kind

'cause all i feel
is the need to go
i need to be
where the wild roses grow
amongst the outsiders
just like me
who feel like the air of their hometown
is too heavy to breathe

i know you don't approve
all the things i have done or do
but try to understand
this is my way
and i wouldn't have it any other way
you've always had strong emotions
of who you think i should be
but how often do you ask
how i feel?

'cause all i feel
is the need to go
i need to be
where the wild roses grow
amongst the outsiders
just like me
who feel like the air of their hometown
is just too heavy to breathe

dear mother
i hope you understand
i may have not been the boy
you wanted me to be
but as a man
i try to become the best i can
and i hope you understand

try to understand

my life
my choices
my life
my mistakes.